In dance, girls have the advantage over boys in many regards. Not only it more socially acceptable for them to be learning dance, they’re more likely to do it with friends, their bodies are naturally more flexible and their hips give them superior technique.

Dance for boys has a different set of rules.  We applaud professional male dancers, footballers who nail a performance on Dancing with the Stars, and boy bands who can dance, but, still tend to ridicule a boy learning dance. If it takes hours of practice over years of dedication to become an expert at anything – then why do we only accept male dancers who are (apparently) instantly great?

Will my son be called a sissy if he learns dance?

Kids can be cruel and teasing can be merciless for boys leaning to dance. And it doesn’t just come from kids. Adults can be just as sneering, and unkind to a boy who does ballroom dancing. When parents ask me if I think their son will be teased for dancing, I answer yes.

But that’s part of the beauty of dance.

The focus and commitment ballroom dancing demands provides an individual with the tools needed to face teasing and bullying. I’ve told so many boys that it’s hard now, but when they get through puberty and their bodies strengthen and grow and they exude confidence, discipline, and appeal, it’s worth it.

Without exception, every boy who stuck with dance has experienced the intangible benefits of the confidence that comes from the dance floor, and in particular Ballroom dancing, whose benefits go much further that a recital in a ballet or hip hop class.

There are other benefits of Dancesport for boys that go overlooked.

Girls outnumber boys in dance, often by a margin of 10-1 or more. Boys have an easier time finding dance opportunities simply because they have less competition.  It’s not fair, but it’s great news for boys.

Ballroom dancing is also one of the few extra curricular activities that involves boys and girls learning together on an equal playing field. This makes it a powerful way to develop and improve your boy’s social skills. Even today, a ‘gentlemen’ is expected to know how to dance.

But Ballroom dance does even more than that. Dancing with a girl teaches respect for women. It teaches discipline. It teaches courtesy and chivalry. Because even among the clutching and the spinning, there is only one place that a man touches a girl in ballroom dancing. Where she permits him to. It’s no accident that Dancesport Kingdom is asked to teach ballroom dancing programmes in schools. Most famously portrayed in the film Take the Lead with Antonio Banderas, these programmes show kids how to interact with each with dignity and self worth.

If you want your son to learn the value of trust, and of having another trust him, and to touch someone with respect? Take him to dance classes.
Encourage your son to take dance, and persevere – even when he’s unsure to start with. Encourage him. Support him. Cheer him when you can and push him when he needs it. Then one day you’ll have a son who can put out his hand to any girl and say “Would you like to dance a Waltz” – and wouldn’t that make you delightfully proud?
One day you’ll turn around and that little boy who was reticent to start and so, so awkward won’t be there any longer.

A man will have taken his place.  A man whose body can sing.

Monica Fincham is the owner of Dancesport Kingdom in Lilydale. Over the last 10 years she has taught hundreds of boys and girls to dance in school groups, and at her Ballroom studio in Lilydale, Melbourne, Australia.  “I am constantly amazed with how children, if given the support and the gift of Ballroom dancing by their parents, thrive, not only in dance but in every aspect of their lives”.